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Funny Signs (Author: Unknown)

1. Veterinarian's office sign: "All unattended children will be given a free kitten.

2. Lot outside Vet's office in Silverton: "Parking for customers Only, others will be neutered.

3. In a Veterinarians waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes, Sit! Stay!"

4. Plumber: "We repair what your husband fixed."

5. Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one Weak."

6. At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."

7. Door of a plastic surgeons office: "Hello, can we help pick your nose?"

8. Sign at the psychic's Hotline: "Don't call us, we'll call you."

9. At a Towing Company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

10. Billboard on the side of the road: "Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs."

11. On an Electricians truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

12. In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

13. On Maternity Room Door: "Push, Push, Push."

14. At an Optometrists Office: "If you don't see what your looking for you've come to the right place."

15. On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

16. In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."

17. On a fence: "Salesmen Welcome, Dog food is expensive."

18. Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary, we'll hear you coming."

19. Inside a Bowling Alley: "Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop."

20. In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait."

21. In a counselors office: "Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional.

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