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Clever signs (Author: Unknown)

HOTEL: "Help!" We need inn-experienced people

BUTCHER'S WINDOW: Pleased to meat you

AUTO BODY SHOP: May we have the next dents?

SIGN IN AN OFFICE: We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left

VETERINARIANS WAITING ROOM: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

AT THE ELECTRIC COMPANY: "We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."


GARBAGE TRUCK: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

COMPUTER STORE: "Out for a quick byte"

RESTAURANT WINDOW: Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up

BOWLING ALLEY: Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop

CAFETERIA: Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want

MUSIC LIBRARY: Bach in a minuet

FUNERAL HOME: Drive carefully, we'll wait

Sign in wallpaper and paint store:
"Husbands choosing colors must have note from wives."

Sign in a self-service elevator:
Eighth Floor Button Out of Order. Please Push Three and Five Instead.

Sign on a Scottish golf course:
Members will refrain from picking up lost balls until they have stopped rolling.

Found on a freshman's registration card:
Name of parents: Mamma and Papa.

For her upcoming prom, my daughter went to have her hair done at a
trendy new salon. As she approached the door, she was greeted by a
sign: "Some of the World's Most Beautiful Faces Have Walked Through
This Door." Unsuccessful in opening the door, she noticed another small
sign posted on it: "Please Use Other Door."

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