Wall O' the Weird
Wall 'O the Weird is a collection of bizarre emails I have received in my time as a Tech Support guy in a distance learning department
of a fairly large community college. Now I know I have the tendency to rush through words and create typos, so in the interest of
fairness you won't find anything here because of a simple typo. Remember, these are students of a "Higher Learning" institution. These
are COLLEGE students! Now sit back and enjoy the well speaching within. These aren't doctored in any way - except that I have removed
names to keep from being sued. This started out as a project stapled onto my office wall, but I decided to stick it here instead so that
my friends from out of state could see it. My prefaces come in italics before, as well as a "wish-response" after. Those of you in Tech
Support know what I mean. :)
error try
I just love these emails that I get that have no prior contact established (or needed evidently!) When reading this one,
keep in mind that my job is to trouble-shoot errors with web-based courses. I don't have anything to do with student email
accounts.
Subject: error try
From: xxxxxxxx
To: xxxxxxxxxx
I got a message that said Outlook doesnt recognize this. I tried to create it under new contact. It wouldnt accept it wierd. I think
it was different before, because it didnt give me the option to create a new address contact. Well I just tried to create one but it
wont let me. I really like Outlook, but right now I dont! The reply to all seems to work fine, I just dont know how you would log it for
my credit unless I cc: myself so all would know.
THANKS!
You're Welcome! _DELETE!_
need help
I also run some listservs that student can send emails to and those emails will go to all the students in the class. This
helps students stay in contact with each other - just like they would in on-campus classes. Only students who are in the class can post
to the list, and you are required to subscribe to it if you are in the class.
Subject: need help
From: XXXXXXXXXXXX
To: XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Every time I send an email to the listserv it comes
back. The email that comes back doesn't say failure
delivery or anything, it just comes back as I had sent
it. Is something wrong? Are my messages being posted?
What part of listserv is confusing?!?
please to help!
Sometimes I get great help requests like this. What do YOU think this guy wants?
Subject: please to help!
From: xxxxxxxx
To: xxxxxxxxxx
My Name is xxxxxx.
I am enrolled into xxxxxx.
That's Great! _DELETE_
i need help!
I get a lot of these where a word or two are left out and it makes it rather confusing. This one gives a WHOLE new
meaning to "World Wide Web."
Subject: i need help!
From: xxxxxxxx
To: xxxxxxxxxx
this is for xxxxxx class with xxxxxx.i'm not sure if i'm still in the
class though because i couldn't get through the internet. thanks, xxxxxx
Those pesky stickey internet gremlins!
Re: info. on win.2000 installation.
Why do I give out my email address?!?
Subject: Re: info. on win.2000 installation.
From: xxxxxxxx
To: xxxxxxxxxx
Hello there..
I need some help on how to install windows 2000 on my own pc, can anyone pls. call me at (xxx) xxx-xxxx.
Thank you.
xxxxxx.
Call Microsoft Technical Support.
Your Power
OK. This one is just plain odd. The off-site location that hosts our online classes had it's primary power source transformer
explode. The whole campus lost power. Is that not clearly stated in the email I sent out to everyone (see the > stuff below). Where
do these people come from (and more to the point, where do they end up!?!)
Subject: Your Power
From: xxxxxxxx
To: xxxxxxxxxx
> To all Distance Learning students enrolled in online courses:
> The offsite location that hosts our online courses had it's primary power
> source transformer explode this morning at 9:00 AM. The campus has been
> evacuated and HazMat is onsite attempting to clean up the debris. Without
> power, the servers that our courses are on cannot function, therefore
> you will not be able to access your online class. We apologize for this
> inconvience and will inform you when the systems are back online.
> Technical Support
Hey,
Has anyone tried to plug it into a different hole?
Hey! That might work! Let me see... Oh. It didn't. I'll try another hole. No, that didn't work either. Hmm. Do you have
any holes you would like to volunteer? :)
username
In the spirit of "i need help" above...
Subject: username
From: xxxxxxxx
To: xxxxxxxxxx
Username for xxxxxx xxxxxx is
dlxi9376
Is that so? That answers every question except one. WHY DO I CARE!?!
homeunix
For those of you who don't know, UNIX is an opperating system, like Windoze or MacOS. Apparently knowing what an opperating system is
falls under the category of 'optional reading' in this course...
Subject: homeunix
From: xxxxxxxx
To: xxxxxxxxxx
I have been taking the Distance Learning, Intro to UNIX class for the last six weeks. I understand I should be able to access the UNIX
from home so I can work on assignments. I'm not sure how to do this. Can I just install it on my computer at home? It runs on windows
right?
Thank you,
xxx xxxxxxx
No, sorry. You have to go buy a Mac. :)
tele-web
Did you ever stop and ask yourself... "Do people think first, or just ask?"
Subject: tele-web
From: xxxxxxxx
To: xxxxxxxxxx
I cannot find the term "teleweb defined. Is this streaming video? An online web based course?
I do not have a television and I have a no internet connection. I need more info before I register.
xxxxxx
The term should be written "tele[vision] & web" rather than the pleonastic "teleweb." (Acctual response.)
Internet Explorer
One more reason not to use Juno...
Subject: Internet Explorer
From: xxxxxxxx
To: xxxxxxxxxx
I have not been able to set Internet Explorer as my default browser.
Using Win XP pro IE ver 6 with ISP Juno. Also there is no icon on my
desktop for Internet Explorer. My home page defaults to Juno which uses
IE. Thank You
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