Because this list appears to be odd, some people have asked that it be placed here. So, here is a list of things that have hit me in
the head, along with a small story:
12 mo. Bare Metal Tire Swing.
OK. This one I have some vague thoughts flowing around in my head saying it's true, but no real
memories. Evidentally on Thanksgiving day 1976 my brother and I were playing near a tire swing. It had no rubber on it. I think you
can guess what happened here. Yup, 3 stitches later I was back on the playground. ( Note about this story: It was 26 years later when
I inherited some of my mother's journel stuff that I found out about this. As the word inherited implies, I cannot get any additional
information about this. )
18 mo. Chain Saw.
When I was 18 months old, a family member accidentally hit me with a chain saw. In the head. Needless to say,
I was extremely upset when, at the hospital, I was forced to endure the stitches while my brother (about 3 at the time) was stuffing his
face with twinkies. Evidently he was telling everyone he met that a certain family member had cut my head open with a chain saw, and
they wanted to keep him quiet. Oddly enough, I still remember being strapped in a straight jacket to the emergency room table while
looking out the window at said sibling.
13 years. Rain Pipe.
In junior high, I was running toward a rain pipe and using my hand to create a slapping sound so that it
sounded like I was hitting my head against the pipe. Well, let's just say I missed.
14 years. Rusty nail.
When I was a kid we had a tree fort that my brother and I were constantly building onto. One day I stood up
and impaled my head against a nail that was sticking out from the roof we had recently put on. It didn't do much, just tore the skin,
but I had to have stitches for it.
16 years. 100 sided die.
In high school I was very much into rpgs (roll playing games). One day while I was playing with a
friend, he threw my 100-sided die at me and hit me in the head. Update: 15 years later, UC Pseudonym broke this die. I haven't been able
to fix it yet.
25 years. SCSI floppy drive.
I have always been into computers (what, you couldn't tell?!?) and this head wound is indicative
thereof. I was getting an old apple SCSI hard drive (ironically, given to me by apple computer) when I jogged a bookshelf that was
stacked with old computer parts. Well, there was a disassembled old external floppy drive that weighed about 5-6 lbs sitting on top of a
box (located on TOP of the shelf) that was knocked off by my digging around on the bottem shelf and shaking the shelf. The handy
plastic cover was conveniently not attached, and the sharp steel beneath was pointing out toward me. It fell off and hit me, causing me
to utter something or another that had my wife in the room in a few seconds (I honestly don't remember if she was going to scold me for
using bad language, so I guess it wasn't anything REALLY bad that I uttered.) Anyway, she was fairly calm about the whole thing until I
started bleeding out of the top of my head. Then well, you know how wives are. Anyway, I'm totally recovered. Really. I mean it. The
very next day... (see below.)
25 years. Drum stick.
The very next day, when I went to church, the drummer for our worship band hit me with his drum stick
exactly in the spot where I was bleeding from. It really hurt! So I had to retaliate. I got him addicted to Quake III. :)
26 years. Iron rooster.
We were all over at my grandmother's house, and I was playing a card game when I leaned back in my chair.
I bumped a book case, and the large rusty iron rooster perched on the very top of the case decided to leap down and peck me in the head.
Ironically (heh heh heh. Get it? IRONically? Never mind. I thought it was funny...) enough, I thought it was a bump. Everyone got
really pale-faced when the blood started running down my face and dripping off my nose. Sorry. I wasn't trying to gross anyone out,
that's just what happened.
26 years. 5 ton Jack.
I was fixing my wife's 96 Chevy, when (without warning) the jack decided to smack me in the head. To this
day I don't know quite how it worked, but it did. Needless to say, I don't go near the jack any more. In fact, I havn't touched the car
since! (That's actually an exaggeration. The jack and I have more or less normalized relations since then.)
26 years. Stairwell.
OK. Whose idea was it anyway to place a stairwell support beam in front of my apartment. I mean, let's be
reasonable. My sidewalk is a standard 3 feet wide, yet if anyone over 5'3" tall approaches my front door on the rightmost 1.125 feet,
they will come face to face with a large STEEL beam which has been "painted black for your protection." OK. First off, I wear a hat
anywhere I go. Second off, the sun sets DIRECTLY opposite my front door! Who comes up with these designs anyway? NOTE TO NEW READERS: I
am just over 6' tall. I assume you can figure out what happened.
27 years. Horseshoe and Crowbar
So my friend wanted a hand with some construction work that he is doing in his garage. I went
over to help him remove a 20' shelf from about 7 feet up. Needless to say, there is no way we could see if there was anything up on the
top of the shelf. (Well, we could have just jumped and looked, or stood on something, but hey, we're guys right?) So there was this
horseshoe up there. He doesn't have any idea where it came from. Who keeps a single horseshoe on their top shelf in their garage?
Anyway, the next week we were moving some electrical lines around, and I had placed a crowbar safely out of our way by hanging its hook
from the top of the open garage door. Remember I said we were doing electrical work? Well, that (combined with the fact that I always
wear a hat) made for an interesting oppertunity for me to update my web site when it began to get dark. I mean, it's tough to see a
large metal thingy hanging down just above eye level. So I walked right into it, and it proceeded to accelerate at 9.8 meters/sec^2
until such a time as it encountered resistance in the form of my skull.
27 years. Iron Hook
What is is with me and iron? This is just getting annoying. So I was in my office (home) trying to pick
something up. Our office is set up to double as a bedroom if need be, so there is a normal size closet. At some point in time, one
of the previous tenants decided it needed two levels of hanging rods, and a large hook. When I bent down to pick something up, I
missed the 2nd rod. As for the hook...
28 years. Remote Control
Well, I told Rich this would make it here. He and I were playing a video game, and his wife said
something to him about the volume. He grabbed the remote control (conveniently located directly behind me) and whipped it around to turn
down the volume. He needs to work on his 'whipping aim.'
Next? Don't know.
If you know me and can think of any other odd things to smack me in the head, let me know. I'll update the
site and let everyone see it. Otherwise, pray that nothing else smacks me on the head. PLEASE!!!!!! As far as I can tell, even
that might not keep me from further injury. So at the very least, check back in occasionally to see what strange and wonderful
things have hit me next week!