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Just for Women (Author: Unknown)
JUST BETWEEN US GIRLS!!
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. --Helen
Hayes (at 73)
I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray
eyebrows. --Janette Barber
Who ever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every time I hear it, think -
I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone.
A few weeks after my [breast cancer] surgery, I went out to play catch
with my golden retriever. When I bent over to pick up the ball, my
prosthesis fell out. The dog snatched it, and I found myself chasing him
down the road yelling "Hey, come back here with my breast!" --Linda
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. --Lily Tomlin
You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a
woman? It's plucking your eyebrows. That's how I originally got pierced
ears. --Geri Jewell
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your
girlfriends. --Laurie Kuslansky
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my
head on the top bunk bed until I faint. --Erma Bombeck
Old age ain't no place for sissies. --Bette Davis
A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
The phrase "working mother" is redundant. --Jane Sellman
Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.
Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought
half as good. Luckily, this is not hard. --Charlotte Whitton
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body
starts falling apart. --Caryn Leschen
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at
once. --Jennifer Unlimited
If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a
horrible warning. --Catherine Aird
Behind every successful woman... is a substantial amount of coffee.
Behind every successful woman... is a basket of dirty laundry. --Sally
Top Ten Things Only Women Understand
10. Why it's good to have five pairs of black shoes.
9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white.
8. Crying can be fun.
7. FAT CLOTHES.
6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.
5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered
a peak life experience.
4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to
2. Why a phone call between two women never lasts under ten minutes.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THING ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND:
1. OTHER WOMEN!