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Out of the mouths of babes! (Author: Unknown)

************************* I was driving with my three young children one
warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up
and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I
heard my five-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't
wearing a seat belt!"

************************* My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the
bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I
fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking
for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush.
He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw
this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago."

************************* On the first day of school, a first grader
handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions
expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."

************************* A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to
come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her
four-year old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy,"
the child said to her mother. Then she added., "Mommy can't come to the
phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

************************* I love the outdoors, and because of my passion
for hunting and fishing, my family eats a considerable amount of wild
game. So much, in fact, that one evening as I set a platter of broiled
venison steaks on the dinner table, my ten-year-old daughter looked up
and said, "Boy, it sure would be nice if pizzas lived in the woods."

************************* A mother was showing her son how to zip up his
coat. "The secret," she said, "is to get the left part of the zipper to
fit in the other side before you try to zip it up." The boy looked at
her quizzically... "Why does it have to be a secret?"

************************* When my daughter was three, we watched Snow
White And The Seven Dwarfs for the first time. The wicked queen
appeared, disguised as an old lady selling apples, and my daughter was
spellbound. Then Snow White took a bite of the poisoned apple and fell
to the ground unconscious. As the apple rolled away, my daughter spoke
up. "See, Mom. She doesn't like the skin either."

************************* A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found
himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst
into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The
little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter
--haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

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