Life lessons I've learned the hard way
Being a fairly impulsive person, I rack these up on a daily basis. Here's the complete (updated daily,
most likely) collection of Ocelot's Great Lessons Learned the Hard Way, or as I like to call it OGLLHW. Gee,
sounds like I need to spit that out. Anyway:
- When a trampoline says Max Weight: 150lbs, don't tempt fate.
- When diving from Stoneman bridge during a drought, you can't really do 'the flip' that fast.
- Never 'trust all content from Microsoft.' In fact, never 'trust ANY content from M$.'
- It is never a good idea to say 'I told you so' to your parents.
- Just because spaghetti and Maruchan soup are both good, combining them will not necessarily result in something good.
- If your mother's pet bird chews on mouse cables, don't convince her to upgrade to USB.
- A superman cape does not make you less likely to break your leg when you jump from the roof.
- Never tease a water moccasin, a bull or an officer of the law.
- Buying a pre-made extension cord is almost always cheaper than a trip to the emergency room.
- Never let the toilet seat get loose. Ever.
- Backups are not optional.
- Soap in a fountain is funny. Jello mix is not.
- Do not taunt pigeons around old ladies.
- The phrase 'heads up' ususally means 'duck.'
- Objects in mirror ARE closer than they appear.
- Do not use a cup of white gas to start a campfire.
- If the stick bends, it will not burn.
- Cooking: Just because red wine has less ABV than cognac, it doesn't mean you can safely light it with a match.