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Things I Have Learned (Author: Unknown)

It is OK to lick the drip of milk that might run down the bottle. It is not OK to lick the last drip of coffee that might run down the side of the pot.

If she askes does this (fill in the blank) make me look fat, it is not OK to answer the question. This is a myth propigated by Nazi Self-Help books. Change the subject IMMEDIATELY to avoid sleeping on a cold couch.

It is morally questionable to call paranoid people and say, "Hey be careful. There is a" - Click!

Though legally acceptable, it causes great stress to acctually LOAN someone a piece of paper so that they can take notes in class.

Yes, I have acctually learned these lessons...

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